Just in case anyone is wondering....

We're 2 nights into night weaning and while we're tired, it's ok. Just the knowledge that sleep is just around the corner now is keeping me going.

Little Miss A is just fine, - was feeding me cornflakes faster than I could chew the first morning with a great big grin.

This morning we happened upon some time together and she helped me pick the last of the peppers from the green house. Every time she'd spot a pepper she'd holler, "YAYYYY! YAAAAAY!" IT was too cute :)

Tonite's the night

Today was a really crap day in a long string of sleep deprivation induced crap days.

Don't get me wrong - I love my children - all 5 of them. I love them so much that I've turned myself inside out trying to do everything right and be the perfect attachment parenting mama.

And I don't regret that - I have a strong connection with my kids - my 14 year old daughter isn't embarrassed to hold my hand in public, or to walk down the hall with me at her school. My 7 year old comes down to hug me several times at night after he's gone to bed - he just oozes with love. My 9 year old still kisses me good night and calls me Mumma :) The babies glow when they see me after being away. We've done a good job.

That said - I'm exhausted. To the bone. Completely and utterly. I had my oldest daughter when I was 19 years old. I'm 34 now and I've been nursing someone at night for 9 straight years, with only a year or so of sleep between my first daughter night weaning and getting pregnant with my 2nd.

Soooooo I'm ready to sleep now please.

I've been agonizing over this all summer - in fact my goal had been for her to be night weaned by the end of summer - but my sweet little rascal is the sort that if you try to limit things she wants them all the more. And so now at the end of the summer instead of making progress, she's nursing all night long - and I've been too tired to do anything about it.

No more. I may be still too tired, but I am one determined mama. I am going to break out of this fog. I'm done night nursing.

Tonite is the night. Last night was my last night of night nursing ever.

Go ahead and quote me on that. I'm writing it here so that there is no turning back.

And if you come in the next few days and find that my posts are completely unintelligible ? You'll know why ;) But never fear! I'll be back with brain on and hopefully soon! Maybe in the meantime I'll just post a few pictures of the chaos to let everyone know that I'm human. Never going to be that perfect mama - and I'm starting to finally feel ok with that. I'll keep on doing my best, but now that my kids are a little older my needs are going back to being high priority. And that feels so right. But first - some mama pictures - totally random from over the years.

I had to go and look to remind myself that I'm glad I've parented the way I have - as tiring as it has been I'm fairly certain that one day I'll look back and feel glad.

Wordless Wednesday - better late than never ;)

alone

Alone. All by myself for the whole afternoon.

What to do?

Anything!

A bike ride!

A search for elderberries - ever so good for chasing away colds :)

The dog came along - pleased as punch too :)

Some time by the water was definitely required - by both me and the dog ;)

a milestone sort of a day

Today is a special sort of a day.

Today it hit me that I'm almost done dealing with diapers!

Yesterday I sat Little Miss A on the toilet and she peed. Today I tried it again thinking she'd give me a firm UH-uh! and climb down. Nope. She peed.

And then she shocked me even further.

We were having a bath and she told me "poo!"

So I got her out and sat her on the toilet and she went!

OK - so maybe this isn't entirely appropriate blogging material......

But I don't care one bit!

:)

My baby is growing up!

I'm feeling sentimental so you all get to hear about it ;)

She also went on a teeter totter for the first time!

And swings? Not a problem - in fact the little smart-ass likes to lean waaaaaaaaaaay back until I'm quite sure she'll lose her grip and fall on her head - but she doesn't.

This same day she climbed so high on the jungle gym that I couldn't reach her without climbing up after her - anyone remember that post about climbing trees?

Right ;)

I had thought that these milestones might be really hard for me knowing that she is my last baby, but I'm finding the opposite - I'm excited about all that is yet to come!

I'm excited to have more easy flowing time as a family.

I'm excited about this very different time that is approaching. I've had a baby or toddler for most of the past 15 years. I loved it. Obviously I wouldn't have had 5 otherwise, but I am looking forward to a shift in a different direction. One where I get to know my children in a different way. Maybe not quite so sleep deprived. And a little more mobile too ;)

What an adventure :)

Book Sharing Monday

The Mis-Labeled Child, by Brock Eide, M.D., M.A. and Fernette Eide, M.D.

"In the Mislabeled Child, the authors describe how understanding a child's unique strengths can be used to help overcome obstacles to learning. The book gives much-needed guidance and reassurance to anyone who works or lives with children."

This book has been a tremendous help to me. WIth chapters on: memory, visual problems, language problems, attention, autism, sensory processing disorder, dyslexia, Dysgraphia, math issues, and challenges that come with giftedness - it pretty much covers everything!

It explains everything is great detail in a very user friendly way. Then offers ideas for treatment, both at home for parents, and reccomending which professional to see when necessary.

Really this book helps to take the guess work out of things. For anyone learning about Sensory Processing Disorder, I thin ktaht the explanation is the best general overview I've seen . I've read several books on SPD, and this short description really firmed things up for me and somehow made it all make a little more sense (it's a tricky thing to wrap your brain around - no pun intended ;) )

I read it ages ago, but pulled it out recently again. I've just started Mr. S with Grade 1 (we loosely follow the Waldorf curriculum which doesn't start introducing reading and math until the children are around 7.) Mr. S was diagnosed with a fine motor skill delay, as well as sensory processing disorder. I'm realizing just how much this is going to affect the way I approach his homeschooling , so after a very busy summer (when is it not busy really with 5 kids?) I'm playing catch-up and revising my plans. While we will most certainly be doing written work and drawing, he will need me to be flexible to keep him feeling positive about learning. We'll be doing a lot more working with the letters in a physical way, molding them out of modeling wax etc and a bit less writing. I will add in physical exercises and some Brain Gym activities as well. This book is helping me to get a clear picture of where specifically to go with Sascha as far as therapies go. I know from his previous assessment that a visual processing disorder was suspected - he's old enough now I think for an assessment with a Developmental Optometrist. He'll also need to see a good OT again - both of these things will require travel unfortunately, which is why we haven't pursued them yet. I think that the SPD is at play with his difficulties as well.

I find that I am able to get a lot more out of assessments of any kind if I go in knowing my stuff - that way I can talk with the person and if they are heading off in the wrong direction (they've just met him after all) I can give a little more information that might help them better understand him. I can also ask informed questions and progress happens a lot faster.

In the mean time I've got loads of ideas from this book and others to keep us plenty busy in the mean time while we're waiting for the assessments.

There is so much information out there to wade through on pretty much any topic - I love it when I can go in knowing which book is *the* book to start with - love that :) This is one of those books.

bringing in the harvest

We are in the midst of the harvest here - scurrying around to get things in now that the frost is coming - light ones so far, but a hard one any night now.

I had some helpers out with me picking squash the other day - a ride in the wheel barrow is a great motivator ;) It was a meager harvest due to a combination of poor soil and serious neglect ;) I figure my baby won't be a baby much longer, so I'm not going to stress about neglecting the gardens a little - there are many and they are quite spread apart, so logistically challenging to maintain as they are.

With Thanksgiving approaching I'm reminding myself to be grateful that there is a harvest at all - small in size and quantity maybe, but food for my family none-the-less. And it sure is fun harvesting with little ones :) They get so excited about each squash! It makes me smile :)

I love squash! Each year we eventually get quite sick of it, but then after a long break over the late spring and then the summer months it's brand new again and a reminder of colder weather on its way. Comforting and warm - squash soup is the best thing for a cold rainy day :)