Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Maker Of Fires

There's been a lot of fire around here lately - both the real kind and the tempermental/emotional kind. We had quite a few dead trees cut down on our property and we've been slowly burning all the branches - huge amounts actually. It's actually been really really nice after a long winter spent mostly inside, to get everyone out and working together. Definitely good to get out of the house - my oh my have my kids ever hit that cabin fever / at each other's throats place. One common theme tho has been a certain 9 year old of mine - and his love of fire making. There has been a lot of conflict lately at our house mainly due to his inability to hold his tongue - ever. Seriously! His little brother says something like "I'm the best cook!" to which he gets an instant reply of - " Well actually *no* you aren't the best cook - uh duh!" RIght - this boy is stoking the fires of everyone and not in a positive way.

The other day I went out to talk to him after basically insisting that he go cool off outside- his temper has been flaring oh so much lately. He had gotten the burn pile going again and had calmed down in the process. I was watching him get the fire going - coaxing it and nurturing it into a steady blaze, when it hit me. The maker of fires. (We've been doing a Native Studies block for his homeschooling lessons lately) This boy of mine who has such a knack for pissing off those he loves - this boy who makes fires so well - he just needs that quality nurtured. I realized that in fact this quality that so often gets him in trouble really just needs to be nurtured and guided. And so I told him - that I figured his new name ought to be "Make of Fires" I started out jokingly - saying how he was so good at building fires- and also so good at making angry fires in the people around him - but that I'd seen him making happy lovely fires too - like with his little sister. He adores her and she him. He is often the one to read to her before bed lately - and even recently the one she wanted to help her back to sleep when she woke up late in the evening. He lights her fire - that's for sure. He gets her all excited about a new game. He makes her feel special and loved.

I told him that I can see that as the maker of fires - now that he is older - he is ready to start nurturing that gift and learning to use it wisely in a way that will kindle the fires of those he loves in a positive way.

It felt really good to see him in a different light finally after worrying so much for so long. He really is a lovely boy - and I know that over time he'll grow out of the things that I find so challenging right now - or maybe it would be more accurate to say.....He'll grow into himself.

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