Right. So Little Miss A has been fiercely determined lately and is not one to give in when she's decided something. She can scream so loud and long that my ears are litterally ringing and I'm quite certain that she can be heard miles away... (ok that part may be an exaggeration lol ) My ears do ring tho and she *does not give up, or allow herself to be distracted*
So of course I got to thinking - since I'm one to really obsess over these things alot ;) No really tho - I always want to meet my kids needs and facilitate balance for them - certainly there must be something I'm missing or forgetting right? And then I had my "ah ha!" moment :) Love those.
Now bare with me - I promise I'll get to the point eventually....
So we have chickens. Laying hens to be exact. currently there are 29 of them - don't get me started on the ridiculousness of that, but I digress... - so chickens, eggs. Lots of eggs. Can you guess where I'm going?
Yes Little Miss A. She likes - no loves to break eggs. Lots of them. Any chance she gets. In fact when she spots eggs on the counter she shrieks her word for egg (which I'm not even going to attempt to write here) Eggs = very cool in her books. Thing is that life has been so busy - when is it not actually - I mean i've got 5 kids right? So I pretty much just got cranky about it instead of looking for a way to work it out. Right - not going to get too down on myself for that one - I am human after all and I didn't get too cranky ;)
Today tho she was screaming about something and I really wanted to help her shift out of it somehow and I saw the eggs sitting on the counter and actually had a "doh!" moment. (yes that preceded the "ah ha" moment ;) Let's get Little Miss A to put the eggs into the carton! So I held her up to the counter. (still screaming) and *I* started to put the eggs into the carton. THen I hadned her one and she was off! She didn't break any. Didn't toss any across the room. She was quite pleased to be doing what we do. Right. Imitation. How did I forget ?
Imitation is such a key part of life from birth to around age 7. Children have such a strong drive to imitate us - and that can be such a blessing if we support them in that ( and look out for those ways in which it can be embarrassing when certain words show up and you have *no idea ;) * where they came from - Oops!) It's their work tho. It's a really important thing for us to understand and fascilitate - I know that, but I forgot for a while there ;)
So the "ah ha" moment was initially the remembering of imitation which led me to just take a closer look and realize - again - that each and every child is different. What worked in the past may not do it this time around, but I can back track and pull out one of those books ("You are Your Child's First Teacher" by Rahima Baldwin ) that will provide me with the inspiration to get my head back into a place of "getting" my toddler.) I will have to remind myself of what I already know (or maybe even learn some new stuff to!) and then apply it to her. Specifically Little Miss A herself. I have to really *get* her.
*Getting* them. That is such an important thing really. It sounds so simple - so obvious and yet I'm more often than not surprised that many if not most people just don't take the time to *get* their kids. Thing is tho - if we don't - then who will? I mean really ? Who is going to care as much and as deeply for our kids as we do? In a time when neurological issues are becoming so prevalent this can be even more of a challenge - but even more important. Life is busy and it moves fast. Our kids grow up in a blink of an eye. Being an anchor for our kids is the most important thing we will ever do in our lives.
So here I am again - I've somehow managed to find inspiration from eggs ;)
When you child frustrates you - *look* at *them*. Look past that behavior on the surface. Past the label that it's easy to use. Look past, and look into them. It's almost always about much more than what you see on the surface. Be a detective! Be on their side. *you* figure out what they are needing, and how to help them get just that. Kids aren't bad. They just have unmet needs, and it's often tricky to figure out just what that need is (especially when you may have to dig deep for things like food sensitivities, Sensory processing issues and other imbalances etc.)
Thing is tho that it's much easier to truly resolve an issue if you can go deep enough to get at that need - otherwise those unmet needs just pile up and you'll end up with a bandaid on top of all those unmet needs instead of a real solution.
Do I always meet my kids' needs? Hell no! I sure as heck try my hardest, but when you add up 5 kids + 2 adults + life + humaness that equals a huge balancing act. And that's normal, and real and life. It's our job to have them - however many that may be - in our radar. To check in regularly and look deeper.
Now that I can see that the whole egg thing was just her way of trying to be like us and do what the grown ups are doing, I feel pretty silly for not getting it sooner! I wish I had a photograph of her ever so carefully placing each egg into the carton. The utter seriousness of her work. The drive that I could feel in her to be a part of it all. I'm fairly certain that I won't be the one to put any eggs in cartons for quite some time ;) Oh and the tantrum? It ended the second she picked up the first egg :)